The Fine Art Of Hand Kissing

I am quite the sucker for a good hand kissing.... Yes, it's true.

And with today being Beltane, (that most passionate and "randy" of Pagan holidays), I thought I would post a blog for the benefit of my gentleman readers, on the delicate art and proper manners of Professional Hand Kissing.

Unfortunately, not many men are skilled in this ancient and lost art, so - with the help of my husband - we are going to give you some helpful hints to guide you on your quest for the perfect hand kiss!

So with that said, let the lessons begin!

First of all, one kisses a lady's hand in only three social situations:

1.) You already know the lady, and she offers her hand,

2.) You are being introduced to her, and she offers her hand, or

3.) You know the woman intimately and you offer your open hand to her and she accepts it.

DO NOT go about just grabbing any lady's hand and kissing it at random, for they might just humiliate you on the spot, and any person witnessing said humiliation will only point and laugh at your great social faux pas!

Simply rember: If she offers her hand to be kissed, kiss it. If not, DON'T!

(Now as we stated in 3 above - you can 'cue' her to offer her hand by extending yours. Be prepared, however, to convert the extension into a flourish of your reverence for her, to avoid the embarrassment of standing there with your hand out looking like a beggar asking for alms...)

There are several degrees of hand-kissing:

1.) The Air Kiss: With dry lips, bend over the hand in a courtly manner, and make the motions of a kiss over the back of the hand. Do NOT touch the hand with your lips. This is correct kiss when first introduced, and is always correct in any situation.

2.) You take the lady's hand (palm down) into your own, and slip your fingers beneath hers with your thumb gently resting over the top of her knuckles. Then, you press your own lips to the back of your own thumb, (yes, you heard me right - your own thumb!).

3.) With dry lips, bow as above, and kiss the back of the hand, ever so gently. With the contact of lips to hand only lasting for 2 seconds. This is correct and proper if you know the lady already. It is NOT correct if you have not been introduced previously.

4.) You can also express, "I am overwhelmed by your beauty", by not simply bowing, but by *kneeling* on one knee before you kiss her hand. This gives a good opportunity to look longingly into her eyes. Make sure her arm will reach you as you kneel... if you yank her over on top of you, you will need to move to another planet and change your name.

5.) If a lady with whom your are personally close to, approaches you with both her hands (plams down) extended to you, it is appropriate for you to take both hands at the same time and quickly kiss with dry lips, the bent knuckles of both her hands.

The above five forms are the generally accepted means of hand-kissing. What follows below are the more intimate kisses that should NOT be done simply whenever you want to, but ONLY to those ladies that would enjoy it.... and be fully ready to apologize PROFUSELY if they take offense! If you are unsure AT ALL of the lady's reaction, DO NOT DO IT. You do not know her well enough to do it if you can't be *absolutely sure* of her response. (Don't let your own ego get in the way of your analysis of her possible reactions!) And, needless to say, (but it must be said) these last three are extremely *off limits* to ladies under the legal age!

Advanced Hand Kissing Techniques For Adults Only:

We will start with my personal favorite: The Palm Kiss. I reccomend that you see the movie 'The Age Of Innocence' for the perfect example of this kiss; which is given in a carriage by Daniel Day Lewis to Michelle Pfeiffer. Also take note of how he gives a 'wrist kiss' to a lady wearing gloves in the same scene. You can find this movie listed below from Amazon.com.

1.) Bend over the hand, gently turn it over, and, with dry lips, and a slight hot breath, kiss the palm. This implies extreme admiration for her beauty, and adoration-at-a-distance. Close the lady's hand on the kiss, afterwards, and with a soft and warm breath, murmur something romantic in her ear, like: "I pray you, keep this as a memory of me..."

2.) Another advanced hand kiss is where you bend over the hand, gently turn it over, and with as dry a tongue as you can manage, lightly lick it. This implies extreme admiration for her beauty, and a wish for a more.... uh.... intimate acquaintance. It takes a great deal of sprezzatura ("making something hard look easy") and a 'cavalier attitude' to carry this off well. Do not try this advanced kiss unless you are completely confident of your ability to deliver on the implied promise... and you are very confident the lady will not kill you on the spot. Don't try it if you can't 'play cavalier' very well indeed, because you will only come off as a complete lout otherwise.

3.) This last form might be considered offensive by some. DO NOT try it unless you are on very intimate terms (not necessarily sexual - but intimate!) with the lady. (Many a time hath my knees buckled over this one!) To execute this kiss, bend over the hand, just a little, so you can look deeply into her eyes (you will need to raise the hand up a bit to do it), gently spread the fingers apart with your free hand, and, with a dry tongue, and using only the tip, lick gently between two of the fingers, on the web. This is an obvious promise... DO NOT do it unless you are willing and able to keep it.

Points Of Importance:

Notice that in all forms of kissing, I have always specified "dry." Wet, sloppy, kisses are not in any manner required - nor desired. And I can assure you that the object of your affections will not be pleased in the least!

The act of sucking on fingers is just gauche; and the business of kissing the hand and then continuing the kisses on up the arm is simply stupid (or at the least, good as a comedic turn). Clicking the heels as one kisses her hand is out-of-period and tacky.

When bidding a lady farewell, one may kiss the hand only if it is offered. If the lady offers her cheek to you, kiss it gently and with dry lips.

Hand-kissing is an art form, and should be used along with courtly bows, flourishes of one's hat, and all the rest of the "bells and whistles" that go with courtly behavior.

If your heart seeks the lady's affections, I reccomend keeping eye contact with her - But there are some instances, when overcome with deep emotion for her, you may lower your lids or close your eyes as your lips touch her hand (or knuckles). You will have to judge for yourself in the given situation, which way to go.

But... tread lightly! When you kiss a lady's hand, you go where even angels fear to tread.

And: NEVER EVER force your attentions on the lady in ANY manner. Such behavior is the mark of an uncultured boor and you will find that ladies go out of their way to avoid you in future social and private situations.

Raven Emrys - Copyright 1991-2008

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